Folks, the big clock on the wall says it’s already January 16th. How did over two weeks of this year fly so fast? Well, I spent the last two weeks of 2024 traveling up and down the East Coast, and I celebrated New Year’s in Long Island and stayed a few extra days, so that was a whirlwind. Then the last two weeks have been full of decompressing from the trip, getting affairs in order, socializing, and getting back into the daily routine. So there hasn’t been time to sit down and really go, “Oh yeah, I should reflect on my life.”
But here we go. I’ve written lots of year-in-review posts before, dubbing each passing year with some kind of nickname to mark the general vibe. 2017, for example, was “The Year of Reckless Abandon.” And it was, for the most part. I existed in an uncertain political climate, fresh out of a rocky relationship and testing the waters of trying to start a solo music project. I figured: If the world’s going to Hell, why not have a little fun? Despite what happened throughout America and around the world, I didn’t have a terrible year: I took more chances, I made more friends, and put myself out there more than ever. Also, I met the person who is now my wife. Thanks, 2017!
On the other hand, 2015 was “The Year of Honesty and Respect.” Why? I don’t fucking know, man. I was watching a lot of those “toxic positivity” YouTube videos that got popular because of the alt-lit movement. I was hooked on those old Steve Roggenbuck videos which talked about being true to values. So I started to get back into the things that had shaped me growing up, which I thought I had lost: Music, Judaism, writing, volunteering. That went well for about the first three months of the year. Then I got into the aforementioned rocky relationship and let myself become sort of a shell of a person. I smoked a lot of weed in 2015, folks. Like, a lot. It wasn’t good! It didn’t help my anxiety!
In fact, my penchant for attaching years to names has rarely been accurate. 2014 was the year of being more creative, and aside from some silly YouTube videos, I wasn’t creating much work outside of what I was doing for my job. 2012 was the year of absurdity, and I guess it was, but compared to the years that followed, now it seems pretty tame. I dubbed 2020 “The Year of Fear”, and – well – I guess I was right about that one. (Sorry, folks.)
And 2024 was actually “The Year of Reckless Abandon, Part 2.” It was another year of meeting new people, sharing my creative work, and having more confidence in myself as a professional and a person. So in light of that somewhat positive year, finally we must ask the big question: What is 2025? Well, strap on your headlamps, people: 2025 is simply “The Year of Darkness.”
This year presents a lot of questions. What will the world look like in twelve months, with America about to suffer through another Trump term, the Biden administration having done nothing of much value, right-wing politicians taking power in European countries, no end in sight to Israel’s genocide of Palestinians, and political upheavals taking place in the Eastern Hemisphere in places like Ukraine and South Korea? Will slashed funding mean it’s harder for the teachers in my life – my wife included – to keep their jobs? How high will the cost of living skyrocket? Are the fires in LA just the start of more natural disasters in the year to come, after an already meteorologically heavy 2024? Will new digital platforms rise up to take the place of those owned by the techno-conservative oligarchs in bed with the far-right? How will our standards of living change? How will we cope? Will we support each other more, or will we tear each other apart?
I’m choosing to cast a black shadow over this year because frankly, I’m tired of trying to stay positive. Shit sucks, at least on an overall scale. I’m so grateful to have a roof over my head and my wife and family and friends. I’m happy everyone in my life has good health and that no one is seriously struggling. But I know I’m not alone in feeling some kind of aching dread or ennui or bad juju about what’s coming around the bend. We all feel it, but we can’t see it. The light fades the further we try to look. In that black void we can make out something: A wriggling tentacle, the gleam of a giant eyeball, perhaps the glint of a sharp tooth. Oh, friends, the eldritch beast coming for us will spare no time carving out our rib cages with its brutal strength. But we don’t know when it will attack. For now it burrows deep in the darkness. Hence: “The Year of Darkness.”
Of course, the one thing that cuts through the darkness and any creature living within it is light. So I hope we can find some of that this year and share it with each other. I’m not going to make any bold claims as to how I’ll do that, since any time I say I’m going to do such-and-such, I don’t really do it. I would like to volunteer more, however. I spent a day working with Cradles to Crayons last summer and had a lovely time working with both colleagues and strangers to sort clothes for kids in need. I might also enjoy working a few shifts in a soup kitchen. I do love soup, and I enjoy feeding people. So more of that would be nice.
But the big darkness ahead is my descent into middle age. Time marches on, folks, and we all must march with it. So this means I turn 34 whether I like it or not. What childish things must I leave behind in the year to come? Must I start looking into those medical procedures meant for older men, which I once heard about from a safe distance? Should I look at social media less, or at least stop trying to act like I’m hip? (That’s funny, because I was never hip and only use terms like “skibidi” and “rizz” to annoy my wife.)
When I was about nine years old, I wondered where I would be in a quarter of a century. That was back in the year 2000, when everything seemed strange and scary and yet hopeful and new at the start of a new millennium. How wholesome. I imagined I’d be married, own a house, have some kids and a dog, and work some kind of job which I hoped would be cool and creative. Well, kid, you got halfway there. I’m married, but I rent part of a house, don’t have kids, and am actually thinking a cat is more my speed. My job is good: I wouldn’t call it “cool”, but it’s chill enough that I get to do the creative stuff I enjoy. And this is all fine, nine-year-old Will. There’s no need to rush things. The world has many dark corners and it takes time to navigate them. Let’s be thankful we’ve made it this far without getting eaten by the weird tentacle thing hiding in the distance.
Walk with me into the darkness, friends. We’ve still got a long way to go.
On another note, I’ve started publishing all of my poetry to this site for free! I wrote a good amount of it last year and will continue to post more throughout 2025. Take a look at all of the poems I’ve published so far on the Poetry page.
