Card of the day: King of Swords
Currently listening to: Demi Lovato, It’s Not That Deep
When I take the express bus, a small part of my inner child wants to press my face against the window and stunt on the saps driving their cars in the next lane over. I don’t often take the express since it costs more than the local and doesn’t end up being much more convenient, anyway. But on a day like today when the local broke down and left me with no other option, the express came in handy. And therefore, I found myself rolling down the highway, peering down at the puny automobiles puttering alongside me, like a small god.
A lot of folks on social media have posted nostalgia for 2016, giving in to the latest data farming craze and somehow pining for a year that was not good. For me, that year holds a dishonorable spot in my heart. I was convincing myself that I loved someone more than I did, and ignoring everyone who told me it wouldn’t work. I was smoking too much weed. I had no ambition for anything, and I knew the inevitable political endpoint of the election but didn’t want to admit it to anyone for fear of looking like a jackass. And for anyone who says that I should have gone to therapy to deal with all this, I did. But my therapist had my soon-to-be-ex as a client.
Therefore, I would rather not reminisce about ten years ago. The doomed nature of my relationship was no one’s fault other than my own, and letting things play out like they did wasn’t fair to my ex or family or friends. Also, while things already were not great on the political front, they were heading in the right direction during Obama’s term, and seeing the two choices laid out before us in November didn’t fill me with much hope for further developments. (Hillary would have kept things the same, and that would have been fine, but my leftist ass wanted more. We all know what happened with the other guy.)
I don’t really like the person I was at twenty-five. I find myself rather content with the person I’ve become at almost thirty-five. Sure, I could still use some more work, and at this point the different parts start to creak and groan until they give out and the Check Engine light comes on, but I feel like I’ve come a long way since 2016. I would rather focus on 2026 and the years to come, as should we all. Let the dead bury the dead.
However, in 2016, I did listen to a lot of Demi Lovato, because my partner at the time was a big fan. Confident was a fantastic record. And I was happy to discover that It’s Not That Deep, Demi’s latest album which came out last October, is just as good. I stayed away from the discography of Poot over the past ten years due to its association with my dark year, but I found myself filled with nothing but joy listening to “Fast” and “Sorry To Myself”.
Also, my nephew posted some 2016 nostalgia on his Instagram. In the picture his seven-year-old self was rocking out with a guitar. He turns seventeen this year and called the other day to ask me about colleges. Folks, I feel like an ancient fossil. You might as well come over with a broom because I’ve turned to dust. How dare he.
That’s all for now. I just read several posts in a row about how a) ICE hasn’t paid its bills in months, b) the United States Census website doesn’t work because of a lapse in funding, c) Trump’s desire for Greenland is part of his mad plan to hoard more money a la his pursuit of Venezuela’s oil, and d) this administration would relish in the dismantlement of the international order and nuclear destruction of the world if it meant they would make an extra buck in their reinforced bunkers. So instead of remembering the past, perhaps we should work to ensure we have a future.
Take care of yourselves and each other. Be well. And go Pats.