I set out to write a blog post. Every single time I do this I fail. I get to the first sentence, maybe. Then I delete the whole thing. I delete the website. I delete the browsers from my computer. I throw the computer out the window. I rebuke all technology and put my necessary belongings in a small knapsack. I walk to the river and set up my camp there. I look to the stars. I ask them for guidance. They give none. I drink the water from my hands. I get cholera or something. I wake up in a hospital three months later where a doctor tells me they have cured my disease. I throw the doctor out the window.
Anyway, we have reached the era of Will Sisskind where unhinged nonsense knows no bounds. I used to try to sound smart. I used to want to be taken somewhat seriously. But by God and every god and devil, why? We live in a nonsense world. I hate to sound cynical. I hate to sound nihilistic. I am neither. I believe in hope and that a new and better world is possible. But why stick to the ways that have always been, especially in an era where they do not work? Nazis have infiltrated government. Everyday folks go hungry while their elected government spends their tax money on lavish parties and ballrooms.
I can’t write about these things. My brain shuts down. I hit a wall.
Because I’m not wired to think like this. No human is and no human should be. We were born to live off the land, to tend to it, to not milk it of all its resources for minuscule financial gain and the indentured servitude of all mankind. We were born to live together on this land, not to fight and shed each other’s blood across it. We were born to adapt to this land’s strange whimsy, not try and control it, and certainly not to cause its climate to go off the rails.
And yet, people have found countless mind-boggling ways to be very stupid. I have certainly acted stupid in my life. But I like to think I have learned from my mistakes. So many people have not. And those folks would rather double down on their stupidity and land themselves in scalding hot water than take accountability for their accounts. Those folks would rather let their errors cause people to die because they’re too insecure and afraid to look weak, and they will never apologize or take the blame. They will always frame themselves in the passive tense, because they are passive people, because everything that has propped them into a position of power is due to passive income. They are weak whether they like it or not.
This kind of attitude, this kind of economy, this way of living cannot stand.
What is the point of the article, Will? This is what you ask. I don’t know. Again, I stopped trying to frame my thoughts into anything coherent a while ago. I could run this through ChatGPT and tell it to make me sound smart and well-rehearsed and organized, but do I want to waste gallons of water on that? Do I want to ruin my mental elasticity? Do I want to become a drooling husk of bone while a computer somewhere in a burnt-out Virginia forest does all the thinking for me? No, no, and no. I would rather scoop out the interior of my scrotum with a sewing needle. Employers, if you just read that sentence, just know you’re getting a creative mind over here. You didn’t think anyone would say that sentence, did you? Big brain. Galaxy brain, as the kids say. Six-seven.
Fact is: I’m done shutting up, and I’m done trying to appease folks, and I’m done trying to make myself sound like a watered-down version of what I am. Sure, that just adds to the noise. Sure, that just means one more dumbass white man adding his unnecessary opinion to the slurry of shit that fills the Internet like a New York City sewer after a monsoon. But I have always regretted not yelling about something when I need to yell about it, because that thought then festers in my brain and eats away at the top layer of it like a termite, and then the structure of my skull caves in and my head hits the edge of my desk and cracks, and the goo leaks everywhere on my office’s hardwood floor and makes a big damn mess. And then my wife has to come home and see that. Do you want my wife to have to see blue brain goop? Do you want to question why it’s blue? No and no. I know it’s not blue, but blue is my favorite color and I like to think my head is full of that. So there.
This is the end of the post.